You can’t just make someone be different. We’ve probably all been there and done that.
Maybe even with ourselves – have you told yourself “I’m going on a diet” and then found yourself scarfing ice cream? Part of this problem, is that you are making it a pass/fail choice, and we will always fail.
Just think about a little kid learning to walk, they ALWAYS fall down. At least once. But they don’t give up.
Instead of trying to MAKE someone change, we can help and support them and ourselves with making changes to our choices and behaviours. This gives room for stumbling, for growth.